Spirit, as they called it. It fills your body, warm, transparent, untouchable, but you can feel it. It doesn’ have to be always warm, sometimes it can be cold. Tonight, I’m searching my spirit. If polarity can be changed, so be it. I am too much occupied by the breeze, my spirit grew cold. I didn’t even feel my heart thumping. I was mechanized. Which is why I started this journey. I supposed to continue my journey on which point I have stopped. I have stopped growing, I am stuck. Nobody is to blame. That was pathetic choice, as If I have no control whatsoever to my brain. I was mutinized because I denied every single electricity that stuns my heart, my creativity, my soul and my spirit. This electricity had kept me awake at night, whispering every second to my nerve, to revive my dead brain cells. I should have know that I’m dead. BRAIN DEAD. Nothing can revive me except me and my subconscious mechanism which have been wandered restlessly. You either have your spirit or you are a zombie. I’m definitely dying now, but I don’t want to be a zombie. Hail to all CPR and survival attempt, I am going back to full consciousness, higher mentality, obliged moral, and full human.
– day 1 @ a cafe –